1. They spend more money on the machine than they ever do on you.
After a trip down south, they return with new switches, hand guards, kneepads, and oil for the skidoo. You get dental floss and a bag of rice.
2. The snowmobile is in their profile picture; you are not.
Bonus points if their profile picture is then used as a stock photo for “an outdoorsy, adventurous woman”.
3. They know exactly why the snowmachine sounds off (must be the spark plugs) but they can’t read any of your (very obvious) signs.
Maybe it’s because you don’t come with a manual.
4. They can plan a 4-day skidoo trip, but not a single date night.
Unless packing canned food and survival gear is your idea of romance.
5. They colour-coordinate their outfits with their snowmobile.
So everyone will know that they are together.
6. They love the smell of snowmobile exhaust, but God forbid you ever let one loose.
Gas is as natural for the body as it is for the machine.
7. They think getting married is “too risky” and yet they’re totally comfortable doing this:
Thank you to Steve Rigby, snowmobiler, musician, and beard-grower extraordinaire, for letting me use his amazing pictures in this post. Steve is also the charismatic drummer of Nunavut’s own The Jerry Cans; check them out on Twitter!
Unidentifiable snowmobilers from top to bottom: Jeremy Simms and Steve Rigby (cover photo), me (stock photo), Mikey Angnakak, and Steve Rigby (last two photos).